Things to Consider When Writing Your Wedding Vows
Wedding Ceremonies are joyful occasions, but it can be stressful if you’re writing your own wedding vows. Organizing your myriad thoughts and summarizing them so they express your love and promises to your partner in just a few minutes can be overwhelming, however, it’ll be worth it.
It’s a very special moment because it allows each partner to reveal an emotional side to themselves and talk about the relationship from their own unique perspective. You want your wedding vows to be sincere and meaningful but also reflect your own unique personality.
This is your chance to share what makes your relationship so wonderful and express these words with the person you love. It allows your guests to have a glimpse into why your relationship has blossomed into this momentous day.
Revealing your thoughts to those who have gathered to celebrate your marriage is an intimate undertaking. This is because you’re exposing your heart to everyone who has gathered at your wedding ceremony.
You’ll be yourself in front of your relatives, friends, and even some co-workers. If you’re ready for this challenge, I’m here to help with some advice and ideas for writing your own wedding vows!
Three Important General Questions and Answers:
What is the right duration for your wedding vows?
Each partner’s wedding vows must be just long enough to adequately express what you want to say, and remain under five minutes.
Do you want your vows to be humorous, sentimental, or a combination of both?
Wedding vows need to be romantic, but not too intimate. Remember, your family and guests are listening. Adding a humorous incidents would be great, as long as you avoid inside jokes that most people wouldn’t understand.
Will you be discussing your expectations regarding both partners’ vows?
Make sure that you and your partner discuss the parameters of each of your vows so that they are basically covering the same general topics and each set of vows are about the same duration.
It may not be a good idea to discuss the actual content of your vows to one another because it’ll allow them to be more impactful when you hear them for the first time.
STEP 1 -Make a List of What to Include in Your Wedding Vows
This should be done before you start writing your vows.
Create a list of the things that you love about your partner.
List all the ways your partner inspires you and makes you a better person
Recall and note some amusing incidents that happened while you were together.
Make a list of some personal experiences you both shared.
Formulate a list of some promises you want to express to your partner.
Step 2 – Ten helpful questions you may want to include:
This step needs to be done before the actual writing of your vows. Just jot down ideas relating to the questions.
How does your partner help you to be a better person?
How has your partner inspired you?
Why is your partner your best friend?
What interests do you have in common?
Do you have a favorite line or lines from a book, song, or movie that expresses how you feel about your partner?
What interesting things have you done together?
Does he or she have a favorite activity or sport to watch or play?
What is your favorite gift you received from your partner?
Where did you meet?
What happened on your first date?
STEP 3 – Things to consider When Writing Your Wedding Vows
Make sure that you don’t write your wedding vows over the coming weeks, days, and months, leading up to your wedding ceremony. You’ll have a lot to think about the week or two prior to your wedding day, so it’ll be a good idea to take the time and write the vows at a leisurely pace.
Pace Yourself
It will be better if you don’t try to write your entire wedding vows in one sitting. Many of the most talented writers take breaks during the writing process. In this way, you can continue with a fresh approach.
Take time on the first day to answer the questions that have been written in this article. On the second writing session, make your lists from the lists that I have suggested. Then in the subsequent sessions, write your vows keeping in mind the suggestions that are mentioned in this section of tips
Step Back to Get a Fresh Perspective
When you have completed these three steps, take a day or more, then go back and read your vows. You may want to fine-tune them, which most likely will allow you to make your vows more understandable.
Keep Everyone’s Feelings in Mind
It won’t be a good idea to write a surprise personal anecdote that may embarrass your partner. Think about that before you include it in your vows.
Pull on the Heart Strings
You may want to include a personal moment you had with your partner. This will add interest for your guests and help make your vows more memorable and significant. For example, how did you meet or where was your first date or even your first kiss?
Revisit the Marital Commitment
Your wedding vows shouldn’t be composed of all amusing stories. After all, the wedding ceremony should be about making a serious commitment. However, this doesn’t mean that they need to be heavy and lack humor and lightness. Make a balance that makes you comfortable.
Make sure you include “I Love You” in your vows.
Suggestions on What to Include & What to Avoid
Avoid words like “always and never”. It’s almost impossible to adhere to promises that include these words. No one is perfect, but it’s a wonderful challenge to be the best caring person you can be.
You could include some sentences that would make your partner feel “warm & fuzzy inside”. It’s OK to be sentimental during this time.
You could include sentences that will make your partner smile or get a laugh from your family and guests, and even indyce a tear or two from loving sentiments.
Even though everyone is gathered around for your special wedding day, and the fun part of having a great wedding reception is just minutes away, remember your family and friends who will be there for you during your marriage should be included in your vows. In the future, you’ll need them for support.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Make sure you practice reading your vows out loud on more than a few occasions many days prior to your wedding day. This will help you practice and get a better impression of how your words flow. Maybe even record yourself reading the wedding vows. When you practice reading your vows, read them slowly and clearly. This will help at your actual wedding ceremony. It’ll allow everyone to feel and appreciate what you are expressing.
Preserve the Memory
I suggest that you write your vows on a beautiful piece of paper and perhaps, if you’re inclined, put the paper in a special binder so you can refer to it in the future. This will be a keepsake and help bring back the exceptional golden memories of your special wedding day.
More Info
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Here are some examples of wedding vows written by real couples, published in The Knot.
Enjoy the process; it’ll be worth the effort!